Dr. Ritika Aima (CSE-23 AIR-33) Journey From 186 to 33
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DecodeCIVILS – Mudit Jain
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From 186 TO 33: A Journey of Finding Peace Within
Hi, I am Dr. Ritika Aima and I had gotten AIR 186 in UPSC CSE 2022 while this year I am AIR 33 in UPSC CSE 2023.
So what did I do differently? When I look back at my UPSC preparation journey, I see hard work, perseverance, dedication and extreme forms of self -discipline. But through this write up I do not want to focus on all that, I think these are necessary qualities that any “serious” aspirant develops in himself over time. What I want to write about is “enjoying the process”.
“Enjoying the process” is easier said than done. But in my CSE 2023 attempt this is the only mantra I repeatedly told myself.
Let me give you some context, I am an MBBS doctor who decided to give civil services with the aim of doing something “bigger and larger”. Usually that’s how we all begin this journey, but somewhere along the way it becomes about our “personal success” and “ego”. Anyone who fails feels they were not good enough, something was lacking in their preparation and then they look at success stories of UPSC and start comparing. There are toppers who seem to have done it in first attempt, and then there are others who seem to not make it ever in the final list even after their last attempt.
So when I started preparing I too like most aspirants had this “pressure” to succeed. This pressure forced me to do exactly what everyone else was doing. So, my answer writing was developed after seeing “topper copies”. I watched a lot of topper videos and tried to follow their advices. It did help, it got me till interview in UPSC 2021 but it couldn’t get me where I wanted to be, where I thought I should be, probably because I was ignoring my own strengths and weaknesses.
For CSE 2022, I followed a self made strategy, something that I knew was tailor made keeping in mind what subjects I am naturally good at and also realistically planning how much I will be able to study and take on that year. I developed ways to keep myself interested in studying- I watched online Anthropology videos on epg pathshala in my leisure time, I even started following western Anthropologers research because it kept me amused even though I knew it was kind of out-of-syllabus, STUDYIQ and SLEEPY CLASSES became my most watched YouTube channels for all kinds of current affairs. In short, I made the preparation a normal part of my routine. I also ensured I had enough extracurricular activities daily to balance myself- daily workouts or watching web series -were things I did without feeling guilt but in a time bound manner. It paid off and I got AIR 186 that year and joined IPS subsequently.
I had given CSE 2023 prelims without much preparation as there were barely 5 days after result to prepare and this prelims had been a dicey one so mentally I was prepared to join Foundation Course if I didn’t clear it. But fortunately when I did, I had a good 2 months left to prepare but in my mind I was way too relaxed for I already was a “civil servant”. This period of meticulous studying was probably the most challenging in my entire upsc journey mentally because every day was about training the mind to sit and study when it wanted to bask in the glory of our achievement. I understood the real meaning of “discipline” now. But I also didn’t want to be too harsh on myself, so I made UPSC like a game. I started experimenting with different styles of answer writing, different pens , even different approaches to the same question.
Here I must add a caution that “different” style or not, I almost scored same in my GS papers so that didn’t really add to my marks but it made me enjoy the process immensely and I found a comfort zone in my preparation . I think this shows new aspirants that “every style” of answer writing is okay from marks perspective as long as the important points are mentioned in the answer.
So, what made a huge impact in my written score was my optional marks this year- anthropology where I gained almost 30 marks. The credit should duly go to Akashdeep sir from o2 IAS academy whose answer writing course of 2 months I had joined between pre and mains. He helped me brush up my technique of presenting answers in a way that was most natural for my abilities and writing style.
Another jump in marks was from 184 to 212 in my interview. What I think worked best in my interview was my confidence and officer like personality that basically came from my ongoing IPS training at SVPNPA. I barely had much time to prepare for interview which was on 10th January and right in the middle of some gruesome physical training, but I had confidence that I shall be able to handle any question put to me irrespective of whether I knew the exact answer or not. And this comes from being:
1. Well versed with the syllabus especially current affairs conceptually.
2. Having the ability to draw inferences in situations (requires critical thinking which comes from having discussions with people on various topics).
3. Being self assured i.e. knowing that interview is not about content as much as it is about judging personality so let your genuine persona show through your answers.
4. Being self aware i.e. knowing and being able to control your “spoken words” and your non verbal gestures. Eg: knowing the difference between- women should be empowered; women are being empowered; women must be empowered—these three sentences seem similar but show different levels of conviction to the interviewer and subconsciously he makes a note of these small things that ultimately shows him your personality and thought process
All in all, UPSC is a rewarding journey but it must be acknowledged that it is also equally unpredictable. So, while you work hard you must also not lose your mental peace and composure. Do not ever think your result in this exam is a measure of your success. For that matter, do not ever think your professional achievements are a measure of you being successful at life or not. Success should be internalised and not controlled by any external factor. To me, we are all successful because we choose to fight our daily battles in life with courage and hope. Let us now strive towards excellence in all spheres but let us do it while enjoying the process, not withstanding what the result maybe.
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